If you've been following along at all, then you're aware of the fact that we've been trying to get pregnant for about 2 years now & we haven't had any luck. I've had a couple different tests done & so has Joe & everything has come back with positive results. We've tried everything from scientific facts down to old wives tales, seriously, there is probably nothing I haven't tried. You may or may not be able to see me standing on my head in the middle of my living room if you drive by on the right day of the month. Yeah, like I said, everything. It's extremely frustrating. That's putting it simply. I would prefer to have something wrong & be able to pinpoint it rather than not having a specific diagnosis.
I had my annual exam a couple weeks ago and my doc is a midwife, not a certified OBGYN, so she told me to go ahead and make an appointment with Dr. B to see about getting on Clomid (which stimulates ovulation if you're not ovulating, but guess what, I am!) or explore other options. I had my appointment on Tuesday (yes, on my anniversary). I was so excited for work to get over & to go and meet with her to see what she had to say & write me my prescription, & head out the door with great news. That's about the exact opposite of what happened. My appointment was at 3:00. She didn't come in the room until 3:45. She says to me, "I went over your charts, you've had the tests done, & everything has come back positive, so, why exactly are you here?" Yeah. I wanted to throw some bows right then and there. She was not friendly to me about it at all. I was really disappointed, on the verge of tears, & just ready to shut down. My expectations were severely misguided. Basically what it's going to come down to now is that I should be receiving a call from the fertility specialist who comes to WHCC. ONCE. A. MONTH. on Fridays. The last Friday of the month too, so I definitely won't be seeing him this Friday & will be waiting an entire month to see him. This situation has taught me soooooo much about patience. She told me that he has an office in Peoria & I'm planning to make my appointment there as soon as he can get me in. I have a couple vacation days that I can use (luckily we can take ours in 2 hour increments too!) so I'm planning on getting in as soon as possible. I did hear from back from the office today that my paperwork was faxed over & I should be hearing from them soon about making an appointment. The lady that called me from the office was really great, she said that she had seem him (as a patient) and loves him. I felt a lot better after I talked to her & now I'm more excited about getting in to see him.
I did shed some tears on the way home, but kept reminding myself that it was my anniversary & I shouldn't let anything get me down. I've felt in the last few months, much less stressed & worried, & more willing to let things happen on their own, but I'm starting to dwindle down to the end of my rope again & I'm really hoping there is some good news on the horizon. It can be so hard to stay focused on the positive.