I just want to preface this by saying these are all my own feelings & truths that I've come to experience in this entire process. I don't know anyone else personally who has struggled with it so I can't really compare if what I'm feeling is what anyone else with the same issues feels. I have found some great ladies in blog land that I've been able to connect with who have made me feel very supported & I really appreciate that. Of course my closest girls have been absolutely wonderful about asking questions & showing a genuine concern for us throughout this process & I am so thankful I have them in my life.
It's been a true roller coast ride of emotions throughout this entire process. We literally started trying to get pregnant like THE day we were married. That was over two years ago. I wouldn't say that every single one of those 24 months were all-effort-forward attempts, but the majority of those months were & after reading that the average couple takes 4-6 months to conceive, I knew that there had to be something wrong with us after 6+ months of us trying. After one year of not being able to conceive, a couple is considered infertile. We are well beyond one year, many tests, & lots of anger & tears, but we are now moving forward at a very fast pace & we are more than ready to start a family.
As a woman, it's a tough reality to accept that you might not be able to conceive, or you may need some kind of intervention such as IUI or IVF or even just fertility drugs. I am SOOOO thankful to modern medicine that we have these options out there, but as a woman, there is a sense of inadequacy if you're not able to conceive naturally. You have to have faith that your partner won't resent you for things that you may not be able to do or provide for them. Joe and I both knew that we wanted a family with each other. He has always wanted kids, how awful would I feel if I wasn't able to be able to give Joe the family that he wanted, & I'm sure the feeling is mutual. You don't know that your infertile until you start trying to have a baby and for us we didn't start that until after we were married. I think the most important part of this entire process is to have a supportive partner. Of course we don't always agree with each other about the decisions that we make, but we are always supportive of each other no matter what. We always make it a point to remind each other that we are on the same team no matter what & we really do practice that & believe in each other no matter what the situation is.
We didn't have to think twice about it when Dr. G recommended the laparoscopy, we decided together that this would be the best option for us if we are serious about starting a family and we are. Joe is more than willing to take time off work, unpaid, to come to the appointments with me, understand the process, take care of me when I'm home and in pain, & I would hope that any supportive husband would do the same for their wife.
At 27 years old, the amount of pregnancy announcements that I've heard over the last couple years has been astronomical, but we are at that age. Weddings & babies is about all I see on my Facebook feed anymore & sometimes it does hurt a bit. One of my best friends is pregnant & I cannot wait to start shopping for her little bundle of joy! I am beyond excited for her & I hope that we can experience pregnancy together. One thing that I don't see enough of is those of us who are struggling with infertility aren't speaking up about it & supporting each other. What I hope to achieve with my blog & sharing this extremely personal aspect of my life is that maybe another woman going through this can feel like they aren't alone & that there is a glimmer of hope. Even though I'm not pregnant yet, I feel so much better about the entire situation after finally accepting reality and seeing the fertility doctor. All of the culture surrounding infertility can be a really hard pill to swallow, but I'm so glad that we decided to bite the bullet & go for it.
As personal as this might seem, I'm happy to be sharing this one for my own personal reasons, but for two so that others know that this is a real thing that happens to more people than you might know. I can't wait to see what our future holds for us as we continue on this journey.