Wednesday, January 22, 2014

waiting is the worst!


If there is one thing I can tell you that truly sucks about infertility (besides infertility itself!) is the waiting. We are in quite the lull right now. We got our BFN on 1/6. I was told I would need to wait until AF showed up again before we could start follicle stimulation. I thought last week that I had so we scheduled our baseline ultrasound only to find out that I still had, what they refer to as, “cysts” or old follicles. They put me on the pill for TWO WEEKS (damn the dreaded 2ww!) and rescheduled another baseline for January 28th.

All of the waiting that comes with being treated for infertility is one of the biggest struggles and I know I'm not alone in thinking this. You wait to have an ultrasound, then you wait to start your meds, then you wait to have the procedure done, you wait to take your pregnancy test, you wait for the doctor’s office to call you with results! It is sooo much waiting. It’s especially hard for someone like me with ZERO freaking patience. This process has actually taught me a lot about what being patient actually is. It also has taught me a lot about “gravity issues” or things that are completely out of my own control, another foreign concept to me. I am type A, like 100%... I am unbelievably organized, I like plans, & I’m very rarely sporadic. It’s just not me. It has been completely out of my realm to be going through something so significant that I have really no control over. I compare it to not having control over your own wedding planning or some other extremely important life event. My body is in control & there ain't a damn thing I can do about it!

a good reminder :)

I never would have thought that I would be counting down days to start injections. Who does that? I’ll tell you who does, #infertilitysisters, we get excited when Follistem & Ovidrel comes in the mail. We take pictures and videos of how we inject ourselves then post it on social media for the entire world to see. I know it might seem strange to some, but it really does bring us together. There is a whole community of us. We love to support each other, we ask for advice, we post our current stats, we post pictures of our ovaries, we post tons of quotes, & I don’t think that most of us really care what anyone thinks. It’s our lives, our whole lives, it’s all you think about. So many people will say, you just need to distract yourself with something else, like building your house, & I say, there is no way I can be distracted from this, it’s on my mind all day, it makes waiting even worse.

last round, IUI meds

So for those wondering what’s going on, I’m still taking the pill (seems counter intuitive right?!) at least until Monday. Tuesday is my baseline, then hopefully next week I will be starting injections and we will be well on our way to IUI # 3. For now I am just trying to take things one day at a time, keeping busy & trying to keep my eyes off of the calendar.

9 comments:

  1. We can count down the days together sister!!!

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  2. Pretty lady you'll get there! How cool that you have a good support system with other girls. I'm sure that helps tons!! xoxo

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  3. You have such a bright attitude! One day you will be a positive & patient mama and your kids will be so lucky!

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  4. AHHHH I'm also waiting for AF to show up! I start Follistim this cycle...whenever that may be.... for my first injectibles and IUI cycle. I'm super nervous, but I'm kinda excited to see that you and I are in the same boat! I will be crossing my fingers and saying extra prayers for your (and my) patience. I'm also not a patient person. We're in this together, girl!!!

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  5. Romans 12:12
    Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

    :) Praying for you!

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  6. Fingers crossed for you girl! Waiting for anything sucks...I suspect waiting for this is way worse!! Third times I charm I believe it!!

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  7. We are about to start #3 too! Praying for good news for you (and me!!)

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  8. This is exactly how I am feeling right now! You couldn't have said it better! xoxo

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