Because we have been dealt the infertility card, I could possibly be making one of the biggest and hardest decisions of my life to date. I’ll start with a little background information. Right now I am in a union position at work. My benefits are kick ass. There is no other way to put it. My deductible is insanely low, and I have coverage for as many IUI’s and IVF cycles as I want at 80/20 coverage. That’s huge. My number one priority right now is getting pregnant and becoming a mommy, hands down, but, there are other opportunities (that happen at the worst of times) and a management position at work is one of those opportunities. There are many pros and cons about switching from union to management, but the biggest con is that my insurance would change & infertility treatment would no longer be covered.
To some, it may seem like a relatively easy decision right off the bat, but I've been with the company for five years, six in September, & my goal is to be in a management position. I've tested and interviewed and I’m expecting to hear this week if I got the job or not. This would be a huge accomplishment for me. It would be a lot more responsibility, a big pay increase, but a lot of daily travel. The job is in Peoria, I live in Oglesby. It would be close to 3 hours of travel time each day on top of the 8-9+ hours of work I would be putting in, this is obviously one of the cons, but it’s not a determining factor for me either. There will not be any opportunities for me to move up at my home office in La Salle & but there may be other opportunities in the Peoria somewhere down the road.
I decided to call my nurse Deena and let her know what is going on. She said that right now I need to wait until February 25th. If AF doesn't show by then then I need to get a beta test done. I haven’t shown any signs of ovulation & haven’t gotten any positive OPK’s so I’m hoping AF will show up without having to get blood work one. Then I would need to be put on the pill for 2 weeks to make sure that the follicles that didn't rupture, or “cysts” as they refer to them, all go away & my uterus is clear for takeoff. Then, I would be able to start stims again. She did say that IVF could be possible for us which threw a whole other wrench into the already stressed system. Either way, the timeline is not working in my favor as far as when procedures would be done & when new insurance would be kicking in (this is, again, only if I get the job). To say that this is a huge decision is a huge understatement. The thought of having to pay for IUI or IVF out of pocket when I had insurance that would cover 80% of it just seems insane to me, but at the same time, giving up something I've wanted for a long time, something I've wanted for longer than I've been dealing with infertility, also seems insane.
As soon as I heard IVF, things got a lot more complicated, the tears started rolling & my fingers started rapidly texting as fast as they could with the information to Joe. She said that there is still a chance that we will get pregnant with IUI, but IVF is more bang for our buck, but it’s really up to us in the long run. If IVF is what we decided to do, it would be the weeks of . We are still considering the IUI for one more shot before we would feel comfortable committing to something as big as IVF. If I were to take the job & the IUI did not work, then we would be stuck paying for the next round out of pocket anyway.
I guess the point to this very lengthy post is that this is the effect of infertility on your life. It doesn't just effect being able to have children, it has an effect on some of the biggest decisions you will ever make. And hands down, this is the biggest decision that I have ever been faced with in my life and I’m not sure I will have many more that will ever measure up to what this one has. How do I decide between two of the biggest things you want for yourself in life? Not to say that I can’t have both of those things, but the inevitable struggle that I will endure if I decide to take on both. What about baby number 2? Even if I could still get one more procedure covered, what happens when we are ready for a second baby? I know that there are so many couples out there who have drained their savings and spent thousands of dollars on infertility treatment, but that was because they had to. They didn't have the option. Does it make me a bad person if I decide that my career is important to me and I’m willing to give up that coverage for a job? And how about this house we are planning on building? The entire process of building a house in itself has to have some stress that comes along with it. Can you see my head spinning yet?
There is still a lot to think about. I need to sit down and crunch some numbers as far as pay goes to see if it's really worth it. I need to talk to my supervisor (who is doing the hiring) and Joe and I need to talk more about what's best for us. On one hand, I don't want to take a job just because of the money. If I am miserable, there will be no where for me to go. Once I leave the union I can never go back. I know that when I have a baby I want to be the best mom I can be, I want to be able to be around to experience every aspect of mommy-hood as possible & I know if I take this job I won't be able to do that. On the other hand, this opportunity may never present itself again & then I could be filled with regret about not taking it when it was offered to me. It is also something that I've wanted for a long time. #infertilitysucks