First of all, a huge thank you to Liz @ Fitness Blondie for this amazing link up and a huge congrats to her for her recent accomplishment of becoming a contributing blogger to Huffington Post! How awesome is that?! Liz is a true inspiration. She is one of the most raw and honest bloggers I have ever come across and I often think of her when I’m writing my own posts because I strive to be as real about our journey as she is about her own. She always shares awesome recipes; her giveaways are da bomb, seriously, Quest Bars! Plus she shares her work out plan and her meal planning tips so that her readers can see what she does to be successful. Thanks so much again Liz, you are a true inspiration.
As soon as I saw her post on Instagram about this link-up I was game. It’s been awhile since I’ve had much to talk about regarding our journey since we are in a little bit of a lull right now so I’ve been itching for something to really dig down and open up about, this is the perfect opportunity.
If you’re living in the world of infertility, you really don’t have a choice but to live fearless. There is so much unknown that if you were to not live fearlessly, I don’t know that you’d make it. It is not for the faint-hearted. If you are faint-hearted, you will quickly learn to change, your skin will toughen, you will grow stronger, and you will fight a battle that will challenge you every single day.
When I reflect back on our journey from the beginning back in October of 2013 when we were first referred to an RE, I had NO IDEA how much strength and determination it would take to overcome this battle, and I’m still fighting. This isn’t over for me, but I’m taking steps every day to beat this. I can go into a doctor’s appointment, sometimes without my husband, and get handed devastating news, I can have my blood drawn on the reg, I can bruise, I can take an IV like a champ, I can give myself injections like it’s nobody’s business. I have to live fearless because there is nothing I wouldn’t do to have a child, and for us, natural conception just isn’t an option. My option is tons of medication, sperm in a cup, eggs in a needle, embryo made in a lab, and shots in the butt.
My husband and I live fearless for each other. There will always be a time where that is tested. Tears, anger, and heartache are inevitable on this journey, but the foundation of our relationship is strong and only grows stronger every day. Some days I need the strength and the fearlessness of my husband in order to get through. His optimism and willingness to do whatever we need to do is amazing. We’ve learned not to fight against it, not to fight the process, but embrace it and do whatever we have to do, hands down; four separate shots a day, let’s do it, thousands of dollars (even with insurance) for the procedure and medication, where do I sign? There is no place for fear in the world of infertility.
Being in the blogging & TTC community I have met some of the most fearless women I will probably ever meet & I am constantly inspired by their strength, determination, and how they all seem to live fearless as well. None of us were asked if we wanted to go through this. We didn’t decide that our bodies wouldn’t allow for natural conception. We didn’t raise our hands and volunteer to have dysfunctional reproductive organs, but like the serenity prayer says, we have to accept the things we cannot change. By accepting them, we will successfully be able to deal with them. Not all of us will be blessed with a child of our own. Talk about fearless! How hard is it to not fear that we might not have our own child? It is tough, but we don’t, we don’t fear it, we try our damndest to prove that notion wrong.
Some days I am thankful that this was the card I was dealt. That may seem strange, but it has made me a completely different person, it’s changed me, it’s strengthened me, and I’ve proved to myself how much I can do and how much I can handle. It’s fortified my marriage, it’s bonded me with so many wonderful women, and it’s helped my relationships with my friends and family too. I will continue to live fearless every day to ensure that the outcome of this journey is a successful one.