Wednesday, September 10, 2014

6dp5dt


Today I am 6 days post 5 day transfer & I’m feeling pretty good. Trying to stay positive every day, but I’ve been on a roller coaster of emotions since the transfer, ups and downs, highs and lows all week. In the 2 days immediately following the transfer I felt very calm and at ease. I watched a ton of silly movies from Captain Ron, Sherlock Holmes, Son in Law, The Other Guys, etc. which helped take my mind off things and keep me smiling and keep my spirits up.


Symptoms have been really minimal. Practically nothing except for a few twinges of cramping, maybe like once a day since 4dp5dt. At first I was worried because in the morning of 4dp5dt I had felt nothing, not one iota of a symptom and I got worried. My TTC sisters reminded me (via Instagram) that I shouldn’t worry, and that every pregnancy and every woman is different, and that many of them didn’t feel any symptoms when they got their BFP. I am really hoping that the lack of symptoms is a good sign. Last time I had very significant cramping from about 3dp5dt until the day I found out that it was BFN. The cramping was intense and it was on and off all day long.

Yesterday on our way to Naperville to pick out our granite I had a pretty intense cramp and I immediately slumped down in the car and sighed and started to worry, it’s sooo unbelievably hard not to symptom spot, and I say that I don’t take the symptoms to heart, but I do. I had myself convinced that the cramps were going to get worse as the night progressed and I literally kept myself up half the night worrying about it. I never fell into a really deep sleep because I just knew those cramps were going to come, but guess what? They didn’t! Since then I have had really nothing again. I hate obsessing over this, but I just cannot help myself!

It’s so hard to convince yourself that you could actually be pregnant when all you’ve had is let down after let down for such a long time. I know that this could be it, but I am also reminding myself that it might not be and we might have to continue this journey if we want our miracle. I know that I’m only on my 2nd IVF cycle and there are women out there who have been through 3 and 4 or more cycles before they got their BFP, they are the ones who really inspire me to keep it up until it happens because eventually, it will. I keep trying to make decisions about what we should do next, making a plan, before a plan is even needed. That’s just me though.

I am highly considering doing a HPT this time around too, probably this weekend, before my beta so that I can better prepare myself when I get the phone call saying YAY or NAY. I’ve never POAS before a beta, I’ve always just waited it out, but I think this time I might just give in and give it a try. Just thinking about it makes me a nervous wreck, seriously like had to stop mid thought and bite the skin off my nail (my nervous habit) before I could continue writing it down.

All of these thoughts and emotions are completely normal from what I can tell and if they aren’t, well then I don’t really care, it’s how I’m feeling and it’s how I’m handling the situation, emotions are practically impossible to control. This week is basically flying by and I know it’s only a few more days before our first beta. There is nothing more I can do besides have faith that it worked and continue to pray that we will get the outcome that we are so desperately awaiting.

23 comments:

  1. Thinking of you friend!! Hope you get a peace about when to do the POAS. Still believing with you - hope these next few days until you find out are full of rest. And, I do agree - every body is SO different!!!! You are right - all you can do is have faith! Glad you are choosing to do so xoxo

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  2. Sending SOOOOOO many positive thoughts your way! You are going to be one amazing mama one day!!! XO

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  3. I always felt I'd rather know the answer before I went in so by that time it wasn't such a blow if it was negative but certainly do what ever is best for you :) Praying for you!

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  4. Lots virtual hugs for you friend!!! Some people go through their entire first trimester without any symptoms! It's hard to not let your mind wander, but it sounds like you've been doing your best to keep distracted. -xx

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  5. I wish time could speed up for you! Sending all my hugs + good vibes your way :)

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  6. Stay positive sweets! You're exactly right. Everyone is different when it comes to "symptoms". I am crossing my fingers, toes, eyes, legs, and arms for you! LOL. I did give in to an HPT starting at 5DPD5T and that's when I got my first very light positive on FRER. I was terrified, but for the same reasons as you, went through with it, to prepare for the phone call. Although my pregnancy ended at 7 weeks, it was nice to see those two pink lines. Wishing you a BFP and a happy/healthy nine months ahead. xoxox www.unnaturallyknockedup.com

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  7. Positive thoughts your way! In this situation I've learned that it's so hard to control your emotions no matter how bad you want to be positive, etc... You've just got to plow through it and put on a pretty face and that's exactly what you are doing! You should be so proud of yourself for how you're handling this. I could no longer handle the effing mind games so I totally cheated and POAS b/c good or bad I just had to know. And at the time I just knew it was going to be negative b/c a cold sore popped up and I ALWAYS get them right before my period. I had lost all hope and someway somehow a pink little line popped up so just keep on trunkin'

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  8. It's like you wrote this post for me. I feel the same way. No symptoms are freaking me out but then I remember I didn't have any symptoms last time. I'm still debating if/when I'll be testing.

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  9. Thinking of you and sending positive vibes your way!!

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  10. You're feelings are totally normal. Do remember that if you poas and it's a bfn don't count yourself out. It can take a while. A friend of mine was 4 weeks late before her bfp showed. Hang in there. Praying good things happen:)

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  11. Keep that faith! I'm sending so so many positive thoughts your way!! xoxo

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  12. Stay positive, girly! Sending good vibes your way! I got a good feeling about this :)

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  13. Praying for you, girlfriend!! You're doing great!!! Xo

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  14. Sending you good vibes, fingers crossed for you!

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  15. Girl, I don't blame you at all for 'symptom spotting' - I just KNOW that I'll be the same way. I wish I could give you advice about taking your mind off it, but it's nearly impossible when you want to become a mommy so much. I can't wait to read about your Big Fat POSITIVE. I am feeling like it's happening soon, girl... I can feel it!!! Like you said - stay positive. Good things happen to good people!

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  16. I think the beat thing is you guys have your house occupying a lot of your time it's such a blessing in disguise! Sending positives vibes, prayers and thoughts you way!

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  17. Yay, this all sounds so exciting! I was always a huge symptom spotter...just try to stay calm about it all. So easy right? :-) I am so hopeful for you and can't wait to hear the good news!

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  18. lots of hugs and positive thoughts coming your way. I think the positivity is key and you are doing such a great job with keeping that up. Funny movies and laughter is the way to go. Super hopefuly to hear your good news soon! xoxo

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  19. Thinking of you and thinking HAPPY thoughts for you two!!

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  20. I'm thinking of you lady! If you do the HPT, don't use the clear blue kind...they bleed lines easily, and the digital ones take several weeks to register. We used First Response, and we could see the faint line immediately, and every single day it got darker, so you can retest, too...Praying for you! xo

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  21. Praying, praying, praying!! You're amazing :)

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  22. Praying for you sugars! After I did IVF I think I peed on a stick on 9 days past transfer and it was a negative. On day 10 was kinda sick to my tummy and on day 11 I went ahead and took a test. That's when I saw a faint line :) Wishing you all the best! xo

    waitingforbabybird.com

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  23. gorgeous blog :)
    http://saltskinned.blogspot.com.au

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