On Thursday I received a call from the doctor’s office that we had 7 embryos, but that they were lagging behind. 4 were at what is called Compacting Morula stage which is the stage right before blastocyst stage which is where they should’ve been yesterday, day 5. There were 3 that were also only at morula stage (day 3) that I don’t believe will progress any farther. I was in complete shock and was so devastated at this news. I was expecting 5-7 blasts to send off for testing and by day 5 we didn’t have any blasts. .
They told us that we could do a 5 day transfer but it would have to be TODAY. I’m at work, Joe is at work, and we are 2 hours away and have no idea if they could even get us in. I wasn’t anticipating this to happen at all so I was just completely mortified and had no idea what to do. I called Joe who was at work which makes it nearly impossible to get ahold him. I finally decided to call his boss and tell him I needed Joe to call me as soon as possible.
After a very confusing and tear-filled discussion we decided our best bet was to transfer 2 and let the other 5 try to catch up and still have them biopsied and tested if any of them happened to make it. At this point we have no idea what, if anything, our remaining 5 will turn into. I am very hopeful that the 2 compacting morulas that we did not transfer will develop into blastocysts and be biopsied for testing.
Once we made the decision I called the doctor’s office back and they told me we had to be there by 12:40 for a 1pm transfer. It was already 9:45 and we have a 2 hour drive plus Joe was working an hour away from home. Talk about stress. I rushed home to change, rushed to meet Joe, and rushed like crazy to get to the doctor’s office. We were a few minutes late but there was no one else in the procedure area so I wasn’t too worried about it.
The transfer went super smooth. It was relatively painless, we got to watch the embryos be transferred on the TV screen, and then I had to lay down for about 60 minutes. We made the drive home and I relaxed for the rest of the night and was told I could resume my normal activity today.
For as long as I’ve been on this journey, I know better than anything that there are lots of twists and turns and unexpected things that can happen, but so far this has probably been one of the biggest plot twists that we’ve had happen to us. Everything about this cycle was going so well, our numbers were looking so good; I never ever expected them to say what they said to me on the phone yesterday. Now we just have to hope that at least one of our two babes will make itself comfy for the next 9 months.
What is supposed to be a time of excitement has just been stressful and heartbreaking. I had such high hopes for this cycle and now I’m just so unsure of everything that is happening. I want to be hopeful and excited that these embryos still have a lot of potential to develop & implant, but I just can’t convince myself. With each cycle it gets harder and harder to convince yourself that anything is going to work. If this cycle doesn’t work and we end up with no other embryos then I don’t know what we will do or where we will go from here. I know I shouldn’t even be thinking that far in advance but it is impossible not to.
I am going to try and take this for what it is, embrace the fact that we are PUPO, and enjoy the Christmas celebrations during this dreaded TWW. At this time I cannot be that beacon of positivity and optimism that I normally am because I am still just numb to everything that happened yesterday, but I do have everything crossed that this will finally be IT for us.